Simple rules for summer guests

You have been invited to a friend’s beach, lake or country house for the weekend and you are excited about the trip. This is a time to relax and enjoy yourself, but have you thought about the rules of guest etiquette? How would you rate yourself as a guest in someone’s home? Having guests sleeping over is plenty of work for a host. There are beds to change, rooms to tidy, extra laundry, and meals to prepare.

This is also the host’s time to relax and helping out during the weekend is vital to make it pleasurable for all. When a full day has been spent at the beach, don’t be the first to shower and announce, “I’m going to take a nap before dinner,” leaving the host to unpack the car, hang up wet towels, and start the meal. If you have been given your own room, make the bed each morning and turn off the A/C before heading out, if that is the host’s preference. Likewise, close the windows if rain is predicted or to secure the house when everyone is out. If it is a beach house, bring your own beach and showering towels to cut down on laundry for your host. Bring your own suntan lotion and toiletries and not use your host’s supply. One cousin always asks her host what size bed will she be sleeping in, then brings along the proper size sheets and pillow cases, thereby cutting down on a laundry chore for her host.

Guests staying an extended period of time can help by running the vacuum, offer to mow, walk the dog or any task that needs to be done daily. Ask how you can help, don’t wait to be asked to pitch in! If your children are included in the invitation, bring the snacks your children like as well as beach toys or games for them to be entertained. Remind them beforehand about being polite and using best manners during the visit and following the rules or preferences of the host, especially if it is not a child-proof home.

Meals

Try to be accommodating and not request hard to find or costly items that your host does not have on hand. If you like a certain wine, cheese, or gourmet snack item, buy it and share it with your hosts. Before the visit, ask your host if there is anything you can bring to add to the weekend. Offer to take your hosts out to dine at least once during your visit. If your budget is tight, ask them if they know of a nice place for breakfast to give your hosts a break from daily cooking routines. Speaking of meals, do not sit around and wait for the meal to be served. This is not the time to take a nap, shower or read when the host had the same busy beach day as you had. Offer to start the grill, cut up some veggies or keep an eye on the children. Have you heard the expression of writing a “bread and butter letter?”

It is an old time saying which describes the note you should write as a thank you for a gift, favor or invitation you have been given. I guess the term “bread and butter” means to butter someone up for the next time. Sounds callous, but the expression just points out to the need to let your host know you appreciated the chance to visit. Even an email to thank your host for a lovely time and mention the highlights is fine. If you have not brought a gift upon your arrival, send something after that reflects an item your host enjoys. Exotic coffee blends, something for his/her hobby or a book your host talked about wanting to read. Most of these visitor rules are really common sense, but are often overlooked.

Don’t be that guest.