Sometimes it’s just plain sad

Marilyn Pellini

I cry when I am sad, I cry when I am happy, and I cry when I’m in between – so say my kids.

The loss of a close and dear one, a pet, longtime friendship, etc., brings with it many tears. It makes us question if there was anything more we could have done to change the outcome. We keep wondering this even long after the event has passed. Some losses are catastrophic, some mundane, and perhaps some even petty and silly.

On Christmas day in 1974, my husband, Al, gave me a beautiful sterling silver key ring from Tiffany’s. I treasured it. I used it every single solitary day. It was dropped and dented a bit, but that was supposed to be part of its desired and beautiful patina. It was often found tucked in the seat of my car, behind a couch cushion, and yes, even in the washing machine when I had left it in the pocket of my jeans by mistake. It would have been 50 years old this past Christmas day, but unfortunately I think it has gone to key heaven, because it is not in any of those familiar places or even in unusual ones (refrigerator, dryer, junk drawer to mention just a few places I have looked over and over). I think about it every day, because it was such a thoughtful, extravagant, expensive gift back so very many years ago. It was even engraved with my initials and the date I received it. Over such a long time, the engraving had actually become faint, and had to be redone. In those days, Tiffany’s did it for free!

Many times it is not the item which has disappeared that makes one sad, but the circumstances under which that occurred. Cleaning people I had so trusted for a very long time, I later realized, were not breaking little items and throwing them away, but actually taking them home with them. It was very sad to lose things that had been my mother’s and grandmother’s. Even though they had very little monetary value, they were certainly sentimental items.

One of the greatest losses, however, is that of a friendship. Three of my dearest friends have been lost to me because of Alzheimer’s. I saw them slowly forgetting little bits and pieces of our times together. I kept in contact as long as I could, hoping that our conversations would keep them in reality a tiny bit longer, but eventually I had to see them go to facilities where they could be better cared for.

But, happy tears for me certainly outweigh those of doom and gloom. In May, I saw my first grandchild graduate summa cum laude from Holy Cross College and be awarded Phi Beta Kappa along with a number of other awards and accolades too. Next to the four grandchildren’s births, I think this was one of the most momentous events for me. Hoping the other three follow in her footsteps.

When I am in the “in between stage,” I cry about all the wonderful events and people who have passed through my life. Then, I switch gears and shed a few tears for all the people and special happenings that have yet to come. Perhaps I will get to see my grandchildren marry and for me to be a great grandmother. Now, that would be happiness forever, with no tears at all!