SOMERS, N.Y. - I’ve been playing Men’s Softball at Reis Park since 1987, and over the years many teammates, players, and fans have come and gone. The camaraderie has always run alongside the competition, though the latter was often sharpened when it came to the night’s umpire.
Every umpire did their job well, but the sight of Joe Hickey behind the plate always stood out.
We knew Joe’s presence meant the umpire would never become part of the outcome—but his proficiency wasn’t the only reason we welcomed him.
From the start, his unassuming smile and soft-spoken hello set the tone. Winning was nice, but friendship was better. With Joe’s passing on Aug. 25, every Somers softball player lost exactly that.
“He was a true gentleman,” said Glen Bernardi, owner of Bobo’s in Somers.
In the league since the early 90s, Bernardi admired the Mahopac resident’s ability to manage the emotions of the game. Heated moments never stayed that way for long when Joe was around. His calm demeanor brought the temperature down, and his professionalism sealed the respect on both sides.
“He gave respect, and he was given respect,” Bernardi added.
Joe’s personal touch mattered too. He knew every player’s name, and he made an effort to know each of us. Longtime pitcher Steve D’Ambrosio remembered that well.
“He was very understanding of my emotions if I got mad,” he said. “He explained what he saw, and I respected that.”
Even when D’Ambrosio was caught in the middle, Joe’s fairness had a way of making him pause.
“Yeah, I’m probably wrong,” he could easily reflect.
Now part of the umpire rotation himself, D’Ambrosio carries Joe’s influence with him.
“The main thing I learned from Joe was to follow his calm demeanor,” he said.
League commissioner and fellow umpire Jim Magrone agreed.
“He never had a short fuse and kept things under control,” Magrone said. “Joe was probably the most liked umpire I have ever worked with.”
Joe also had rhythm with the game itself. If a ball got past the catcher, he’d sling a perfect underhand fast pitch back to the mound. He never failed to recognize the effort and skill of the players either.
So for me, when I heard, “That was a great play Hammer,” my pride soared. The best of the best was acknowledging me, and his fellow ump Joe Mancini put it simply: “He made it fun for the players.”
At the end of every season, no matter the heartbreak of a loss, there was always one final act—you shook Joe’s hand and thanked him.
Better than any trophy, all we can do now is remember and be grateful for what we had.
“He was a great man,” Bernardi concluded.
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