'We see you. You belong here.': Bedford celebrates Pride

BEDFORD HILLS, N.Y. - The Pride flag, once a marginalized community's defiant symbol of protest but more recently a celebration of their growing acceptance, once again flies above Bedford town hall where it will remain all this month.

For the seventh year, and first time on a weekday, town officials and residents gathered on June 2 to raise the multicolored standard to a place of prominence with state, town and POW/MIA flags. “We raise the rainbow flag during the month of June,” Supervisor Ellen Calves told a late-afternoon throng, “to affirm that all members of our community are valued, respected and welcome.”

The change to Tuesday from the flag-raising’s usual observance on the first Saturday in June—a day filled with competing events as well as inescapable chores—was attributed in part to an effort to boost resident turnout. This year, more than 50 people assembled outside town hall in sparkling pre-summer weather. That was more than double last year’s attendance, but those folks gathered despite last year’s gloomy gray skies and unmistakable promise of rain.

Also new at this year’s celebration was a pledge sheet, dubbed Ally Promise, where people could add their names to a pledge of support for the LGBTQ (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer and/or questioning) community. Councilmember Stephanie McCaine told those in attendance that “before you leave here today, we hope you will take a moment to add your name.” The pledge will be available for signing at town hall throughout June.

As she’s done in years past, Councilmember Bobbi Bittker organized the Pride program and emceed the proceedings, bringing to the microphone the day’s guest speakers. They included her fellow Town Board members, McCaine and Midge Iorio, County Legislator Erika Pierce, County Executive Ken Jenkins and Assemblymember Chris Burdick’s chief of staff, Heather Mieko Lackey.

But the emotional centerpiece belonged to Mark Dembo, once an active participant in the civic and political life of Bedford. “I was,” he said, “a husband, a father, a professional, a community leader.” Dembo went on to deliver a tale wholly personal but undoubtedly familiar to anyone who, as he put it, “come out later in life.”

“Bedford was home to me for much of my adult life,” he began. “I raised my family here. My daughters grew up here. I served as chair of the Bedford Democratic Committee. This community has shaped me in many ways, and it will always be an important part of my life.”

Dembo understood, however, that he had another side, one he’d “spent decades trying to suppress, ignore or explain away because I was afraid of what it would mean if I acknowledged it.”

“Coming out [three years ago] changed that,” he said. “It wasn't easy. It affected relationships. It required difficult conversations. It forced me to rethink many things I thought I knew about myself.”

But it gave him the freedom, Dembo said, “to stop pretending, to stop carrying secrets.”

In the years since he dropped the mask, Dembo has seen gains in acceptance. “Many LGBTQ people can live openly today in ways that previous generations could only dream about,” he said. “We can marry. We can raise families. We can build careers. We can participate openly in our communities. Those things matter.”

Still, he warned, “Progress is not something we can take for granted. Visibility is not something we can take for granted. And acceptance is not something we can take for granted.”

Dembo thanked the town hall audience “for allowing me to be part of tonight's celebration.”

“For me,” he said, “Pride is ultimately a celebration of authenticity. It is a reminder that life becomes richer when we stop trying to be who others expect us to be and start becoming who we truly are.”

Pierce, the 2nd District county legislator, is a Katonah resident and a fixture at Bedford’s Pride celebrations. She said, “We are proud . . . that we can and do actively celebrate and embrace our queer community members.”

Councilmember Iorio, saying “visibility matters,” called the presence of so many residents at the flag-raising a positive message. “It reflects the kind of community we strive to be—one that says to our LGBTQ+ neighbors, friends, family members and young people: We see you. You belong here,” she said.

“Tonight, as we raise this flag, we celebrate not only Pride,” Iorio said, “but the courage it takes to live authentically and the responsibility we share to make sure every person feels seen and welcomed.”