At the end, we all call for Mom

Brett Freeman

I recently came across an article that stuck with me.

Those who work in hospitals and hospice settings say that in a person’s final hours, it’s not uncommon for them to call out for their mother.

At the very end, when everything else falls away, we reach for the person who first made us feel safe. The person who was there at the very beginning.

Mom.

There’s something profound in that. It says something about how deeply that bond is wired into us.

I’ve been thinking about that article as Mother’s Day approaches. My mom, Randy, is a regular reader of our newspapers. In fact, she may be our most engaged reader and biggest fan. But she is certainly no sycophant. If something in the paper is off, she lets me know. If something on the website isn’t working, I hear about it quickly, sometimes before we even realize it ourselves. And if there’s a story we should be covering, I will absolutely be hearing about that, too.

And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

My wife, in her own way, brings that same level of care and attention. We both work from home, which is why my office is in the basement and hers is on the top floor. This arrangement has proven to be very effective for both productivity… and the long-term stability of our marriage.

It also happens to be practical. Our son does his schooling online, and while he has teachers, there’s still a level of oversight required. My wife handles that, along with the general rhythm of the household. She even encourages our son’s growing interest in cooking, which has turned into a whole operation of its own. Little did she know she’d be serving as a sous-chef most nights.

Both of them, in different ways, pay close attention to the details in a way that only a mother can.

I’m incredibly proud of my mom. She serves as the New York coordinator for Braver Angels, an organization that works to bridge the divide between Republicans and Democrats, something our country desperately needs right now. She also puts this into practice in her Monday morning discussion group in Heritage Hills, where she doesn’t hesitate to respectfully present an alternative point of view.

In her late 70s, she is still constantly on the move, still engaged, still growing. If you were to meet her, you might mistake her for my sister. She is as youthful in her appearance as she is in her personality. In many ways, she’s the best version of herself right now. If I have even half that energy at that stage of life, I’ll consider it a huge win.

As for my wife, in addition to everything she does at home, she serves as the director of finance for Halston Media. It’s a role she didn’t necessarily set out to take on, but one she stepped into in order to support our family and our business.

Yet with all the work she does for our family and our business, she has kept a year-long streak learning Spanish on Duolingo and belongs to a book club with a group of friends. She also has a way of quietly taking on small home repair projects. More than once, I’ve looked at something and thought, “I should really get to that,” only to realize she already has.

Motherhood doesn’t look the same in every context, but the common thread is the same: showing up and paying attention to the details. It also means setting an example by living your own life well.

I used to think my mom was my secret weapon. My wife loves her so much that I figured she’d never leave me, because she wouldn’t want to lose her. But I’ve come to realize it’s actually the other way around. My mom is my wife’s secret weapon. If I ever did anything to jeopardize our relationship, I’m pretty sure my mom would kill me.

This Mother’s Day, I want to take a moment to recognize the mothers in my life, for everything they’ve done and everything they continue to do. I love you both!

Happy Mother’s Day.