‘It’s not work until you’re bleeding’

My father often reminds me that “children bring you nothing but joy and happiness, every single day.”

Of course this is said with his tongue firmly in cheek, usually after recalling one of my youthful indiscretions. (You can see where I get my gift for playful sarcasm.)

My dad is celebrating his 80th birthday when this paper hits mailboxes, and I figured it would be the perfect time to reflect on some of the valuable lessons he taught me through the years. This one’s for you, Big Guy.

Vegetable of the Month

Like many kids, I had an issue eating vegetables. Never one to shy away from creative solutions to parenting problems, my father devised an elaborate practical joke for me one Christmas. You can imagine the excitement of a young Tom seeing a huge box for him beneath the tree, only to find it full of lima beans and Brussels sprouts for my very own “Vegetable of the Month Club.” (I also put equal blame on my mother, and hope they still find it funny when they’re shipped off to the nursing home together.) Paired up with the time he put plastic spiders on the couch while I was watching Arachnophobia, these experiences taught me at a young age not to take life, or myself, too seriously.

Dirty work

My dad has always prided himself on automobile maintenance and would often have me assist with oil changes and spark plug replacement. I remember once seeing him cut his hand on the engine, only to shrug it off and finish the job with a simple “it’s not work until you’re bleeding.” That, along with “there’s no such thing as a five-minute job” are two phrases that I have used continuously throughout my life and demonstrate the work ethic he instilled in me.

Joys of home ownership

Once I became a homeowner, I gained a whole new appreciation for the work that my parents put in to keep a household running smoothly. In what my dad refers to as “the joys of home ownership,” there’s always something to replace, repair or paint, lawns to be mowed, and flooded basements to battle with. However, I have no greater nemesis than my house’s water filter. When stripped threads on the casing threatened to drive me to a nervous breakdown, I knew there was one man who would feel my pain. My father was more than happy to come over and spent more than an hour listening to profanity and assisting in my struggle to finally wrench the cursed filter off. I never once saw my father give up on a difficult task, and there was no one more fitting to share that moment of triumph with.

Lessons from Leo

I have received a great many things from my father, including a lifetime affinity for reading, crossword puzzles and hockey, along with a continuous series of chess games that has lasted more than a decade. But some of the more important lessons became clearer as I got older. My dad was always there to offer guidance from the awkward adolescent years through several wrong turns and bumps in the road in adulthood, and showed me that you don’t give up on people you love.

As I get ready to celebrate my own wedding anniversary, I also think of the example that he set as a husband, and how my mother and father showed me what a happy, supportive marriage should be. After more than 50 years they obviously know a thing or two.

I’m blessed to have my parents in my life and lucky enough to live six minutes away so I can still regularly go over to borrow things and eat their food. And on my father’s 80th birthday, I get the chance to celebrate the lessons learned and everything he has given me. Thanks for everything, Pop.

Tom Walogorsky is still traumatized by the plastic spider incident. Contact him at walogorsky@halstonmedia.com